29.07.25
Days ago, I accidentally deleted all the previous entries I had written. It's impossible to recover them. I hate this and I'm pissed at myself. I feel like I've lost thoughts that were key to understanding the evolution and changes in my emotional and even existential state since I came back from Prague. There's nothing to do about that. For now, I can only come back and kind of restart writing down my thoughts, describing my feelings. But should I? What is even the point of doing this on a public Website? I do think there's something in putting my thoughts out there so that strangers can see them. But now I feel like it's not only strangers who can find and see these words. She can also do that because she now knows that this website exists (even if, as far as I know, she doesn't know about the url). I'm not sure if I should come back here. Why am I writing this right now? Well... because I miss her, I miss her a lot, I miss her so much right now, and even if I do want to just tell her that, I feel like sometimes I should just give her some space and deal with these feelings by myself. Dealing with these feelings, in this particular moment, means writing them down. And who knows? Maybe she'll see all this one day. I'm not sure if I should continue writing in here.